The slap that creates the pools blood and black

A natural high, making my heart beat faster, my tears grow so dense. Not knowing a single thing, not even myself. I am lost in a world full of inbetweens. These people not knowing either. Trying to find themselves. Trying to learn how to please not everyone around them but how to please their own desires and their own dreams. An overwhelming feeling of panic makes me cough and i revisit the tastes and the smells i had taken in around noon. The feeling of numb moves from my lips into my nose and through the rest of my face. A lack of oxygen causing my body to quiver and tingle. Not feeling like doing anything but staying in this place, my tree, and weeping. Knowing that when you look at me you see a perfect girl. One who is nice, pretty, outgoing, and smart. Knowing that when she looks at me she sees a good student, her body and bone, someone she loves. Knowing that when he looks at me he sees a pretty face, someone to mess with, and someone to protect. But the only one seeing past my smile, the one seeing the lines of dry tears that run up and down my face, the only one looking into my eyes to see my heart is you. My savior, my God. You are the only one i have right now so please don't slap me down deeper into the dark. Pull me into the light of your love and let me shine. For i wish nothing more than that right now. To not worry and be happy. Not being slapped by words or actions, which pull me into the black of my heart. I want to shine. But Lord, i can wait for today and the rest of the night i will send my prayers to those who need something the most. I can wait until you call upon me, i just hope i am not eaten alive by the darkness. Here to suffer in my own pools of blood and black.