I had a really long weekend but it was very fun!!! :) now for school tomrrow.. i swear the only thing that gets me through the week sometimes is the next weekend ha

6.8 Billion

Out of 6.8 billion she just wants 1 to dream of her

Out of 6.8 billion she just wnats 1 to embrace her

Out of 6.8 billion she just wants 1 to love her

She wishs she could hold you close and feel the slight breeze of your breath on her cheek, the one that lets her know you are alive. The one that tells her you are here and she is not alone. Something beauitful. But most nights she harldy sleeps becasue her life is quiet, only hearing the the huffs and puffs of her own breath growning louder and louder. She trys to escape to a dream land as she crys herself into a hushed silence. Her eyes eventually close. Not long after they close, they open. Only to see what she saw on the back of her eye lids, you not there. Not with her. Waking up to the harsh reality of alone. Letting the enhanced beat of her heart produce a river of tears, just to repeat the process over again. Not being able to talk, or just cry to someone. She is going to fall down and he, or she will not notice. Neither will you. You didnt notice her when her plane crashed after you let go of the stearing. You cant expect her to think you will notice her when she falls into a pit of dark silence. She will survive, but not with your help.. Because you arent the one out of the 6.8 billion for her. And she will be LOVED.

The Best Detour

"Life is funny sometimes, once you let go of the wheel you might end up right where you belong." -Brittany Murphy in the Little Black Book.

Foot on the gas pedal, wheel in hands, feeling as if you don't exist in time or space. Life providing such a rush, a natural high. An escape from the world. But what do we learn or even remember from these moments? We are going to fast to pick anything up and change it for the next time. We never catch the little moments that sometimes matter the most. So as you drive through life take your time and don't be afraid to take a detour. It may be the best decision of your life.

Someday i will fly with ease

As i am flying, spilling over the very edges, tears bleed out of me. I dive deep down with wings to heavy to bear the weight any longer. Why did i drag myself to the deepest and darkest parts of the oceans? Was it because i thought you cared? My eyes are now so heavy they fall down my face. So tired, so lifeless as i walk through the halls. Hating myself. Feeling alone. Woundering why i persisted, when in the back of my head i guess i always heard the voice of doubt. I just chose not to listen. I hurt myself the most. I should of second guessed myself. But i went and i took the jump head on. I have no regrets, no remorse for these decisions. Just a broken heart. A head full of things, true and untrue. A case of the good angel bad angel going on. Telling me what they think not what i just cant say. I have a case of the blues. So someday i will fly away with the one i choose. But right now i will dwell on this branch that broke so eaisly. I will sit on the edge and look down at the broken pieces and think until i can pull myself to leave. Until i find a new branch to build off of. A new part of my tree a new part of my life. Someday i will fly with ease so just dont you worry about me.

She doesnt even know

She doesnt even know the things i see in her. The things i see going for her. The smile she smiles is so precious i want to keep it forever. She comes off so stong, so kind, so thoughtful. But inside is where she truly hides. She hides her thoughts and just throws on that smile again and again. When i know she has a soulful mind full of amazing things. She has a beauitful life full of love and pain. Her humor and smile covers this up to those around her. But when i look deep into her eyes i dont just see stunning pools of brown i also see who she truly is.. The Amazing, awesome, kind, caring, stong, peaceful, loving, heartbroken girl wanting to escape. She looks so untouched, but what i know is that she has seen and heard more than anyone would imagine. She has been to far away places unknowen to all. She has been touched and she has touched. She has touched my heart from so many different angels, directions, and so many sections. She is such a beautifuly stunning person. I just wish she would get to know this, get to kow what she means to me and others whos hearts she has touched, whos lives she has changed. Her life is beauitful and she doesnt even know it. She doesnt even know she is breath taking and that is something I KNOW will never change. She is truly stunning and some boy will see that in her one day. She will love like no one else and will recive what she desrves. She just doesnt know it yet. She just doesnt know that she is going to be super women balencing the weight of the world with ease. She doesnt know what i see in her. She doesnt know she will conqure the seas. She doesnt even know what she means to me. She will find out soon enough its just right now things are rough. In the end it will all be ok because she is one to fight until she gets her way. She doesnt even know the things she will accomplish the things she will do. She doesnt know that they will be amazing and she doesnt even know that this could happen today ...

She is gone, gone into the sea.

She is gone. Gone into the sea. Gone, so deep, so far that we cant reach her. We can recover bits and pieces of her but we will never regain what she once was. She has been washed through and thorough from the big wave that has captured her. This changed her. This changed me. This changed how we both see. Some may say this wave of water has cleansed, has renewed us. It has ripped us to different parts of the sea. West and East. WE will always be millions of miles apart. Never being able to swim that far. No matter how strong we are, there will be a hole. We may reach shouting distance but then another wave will come and take us. Take us in opposite directions, leading us different ways. We will cross paths soon enough. We just may not recognize each other. Because the truth is there are many waves that conquer us. Push us closer or farther away from what we have, what we want, who we are, or who we aren't.

so theres this girl... haha (swim gag gifts ha)

So there is this girl.. and she means a lot to me
She is like my sister is what i have come to see...

So theres this girl.. who knows just what to say
When i am crying becasue i have had a bad day

So theres this girl.. who says her eyes are so ugly
when i know they are filled with love passion and are chocolatey

So theres this girl.. who knows struggle and pain
but i know she will ignor that and search for her gain

So theres this girl.. who i am going to miss a ton
when she goes off to college and has a lot of fun

So theres this girl.. who has been an influence in my life
for just being herself and doing what she thinks is right.

This girl doesnt believe she deserves what i tell her. This girl also doesnt quite get i am not the only one who thinks these things. She walks through life making it look so easy. She is truly an amazing person and I hope she somewhat gets what she has done for me and others someday. :)